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17

  We have been speaking about progress in the spiritual life, of growth in the Christian life. Let us move beyond these expressions and consider the same reality under a different light. In a sense there is no such thing as Christianity or the Christian life. There is Christ and people who meet him, know him and relate to him. Christians are people who have come to know Christ. They have been inspired by his love and try to respond with love. At the heart of our faith is a person, not a creed, not a moral code, but a person. Creed, dogma, moral code – all have their place in religion, but not the first place, not the centre. They are neither the source of nor the inspiration for the life we call Christian.

  It all began when people met and were attracted by a man called Jesus. They became his disciples and followed him. They were sure he was to usher in a new and golden age. Then they were traumatised by his sudden collapse, his arrest, crucifixion and death, which destroyed all their dreams. But then they were totally transformed by meeting him again, risen from the dead, alive and among them in forgiveness, compassion, love and power. They were driven by their experience to share this good news with others. They were sharing a living person, a loving friend with power to heal their hurts and give deep meaning to life. They were not preaching an ideology or looking for members for a new religion. This was the experience of those first followers who had known Jesus in the flesh.

  The first generation of believers, who listened to those friends of the Lord and who themselves had not met Jesus in the flesh, were equally certain through the gift of the Holy Spirit that this Jesus truly was alive and with them and for them and was worthy of their love, a love which filled them with joy and was so real that they were ready to give up their lives for him. St. Peter rejoices in the faith of these believers. ‘You did not see Jesus, yet you love him; and still without seeing him, you are filled with a joy so glorious that it cannot be described, because you believe’ (1 Peter 1:8-9). We live in the time of the Lord. He is risen and present to us as he was to that first generation. The same gift of faith is offered to us. The same gift of God’s Holy Spirit is poured out upon us so that we can know him, not just know about him, but know him and, knowing him, come to love him and be filled with joy because of that love.

  If we were to look at our Christian life from this point of view, it could become a warmer, life-giving reality. The Lord reveals himself to me in faith and asks for my friendship. As life goes on, do I feel I am getting to know him better through my experience of prayer, through reading and meditating on his living word in scripture, through meeting him in sacraments and people? Some Christians might not describe their spiritual life in that way, but I believe this is the experience of many. There is a sense of friendship with the Lord. Maybe we should draw attention to it more often and encourage each other. For many, it has found expression in what we call devotion to the Sacred Heart. I think it is revealed in many common expressions as when we say to each other, ‘The Lord won’t let you down.’ ‘He understands.’ ‘He put up with a lot himself.’ ‘He won’t be outdone in generosity.’ Such expressions suggest a warm, personal friendship.

  It is a pity our religion has not been presented in a more personal fashion, that the person of the Lord Jesus has not been placed more clearly at the centre. One reason for this may be related to what we said earlier about the way we come to know Jesus. Most of us first met Jesus as God, to be adored and worshipped. We neglected the other side of the mystery, equally a matter of faith, that he is a true human person like us, one who calls us friends and seeks our friendship. The words spoken to Peter at the lakeside after the resurrection are also addressed to you and me. ‘Do you love me?’ (John 21:15). It does not mean that if we say yes and choose Jesus we will immediately understand everything about him and will follow him perfectly. No. This is the work of a lifetime. But it could mean a new joy and warmth in our faith.

  We can learn much and also be greatly encouraged by the story of St. Peter’s own relationship with Jesus. It began when Peter realised that this wonderful person, Jesus, chose him and wanted his friendship and help even when he knew, on Peter’s own admission, that Peter was a sinful man. This peak experience in Peter’s life occurred one morning in his board on the lake after a miraculous catch of fish. This miracle told Peter that he was in the presence of someone very special and holy. Peter, immediately aware of his own sinfulness, cried out, ‘Leave me, Lord; I am a sinful man’ (Luke 5:8). Instead of leaving him, the Lord drew closer and told Peter he wanted to have him as his companion and workmate. Peter’s life would never be the same again after this experience. It was a moment of deep conversion, a moment of true healing of the whole person, when Peter realised that he was accepted just as he was. He realised that his weak and sinful state was known and embraced by a love and holiness utterly transcending himself.

  As time passed, Peter grew in understanding this Lord and friend. When Jesus asked one day, ‘Who do you say that I am?’, Peter answered, ‘You are the Christ’ (Matthew 16:16). But the next moment Peter showed he had much to learn. Jesus spoke of the suffering he would have to endure and Peter immediately protested, ‘This must not happen to you’ (Matthew 16:22). I am sure Peter did not want his friend to suffer. But I suspect other motives at work. Following Christ should mean glory, not suffering. But the suffering did come and when it did, Peter was terribly confused. In the garden of Gethsemane he pulled the sword to defend his friend, but was told to put it away. Jesus was dragged off into the night. We are told, ‘Peter followed him at a distance’ (Matthew 26:58). This says a lot about Peter and about ourselves. Peter followed Jesus, but ‘at a distance’. He followed Jesus because he was his friend and he loved him, but he followed ‘at a distance’ because he was afraid. Is it not a picture of many of Christ’s friends and following that, a picture of ourselves? We too often follow at a distance, but our friend Jesus can cope with this weakness.

  When Jesus was being tried and tortured, Peter was outside in the courtyard warming himself by a charcoal fire. A servant girl accused him of being a follower of Jesus. Peter answered ‘I do not know the man’ (Matthew 26:72). Peter said more than he realised. There was a great irony here. Peter shouted out a lie to protect himself. But was it a lie? Was it not in a deep way the truth? Peter did not yet know his friend. He did not understand what was going on. He did not yet understand the place of suffering in the service of love. He couldn’t understand this kind of love, the genuine thing being lived out by Jesus. Peter did not know the man Jesus who is the love of God made visible. Neither do we know how good our friend Jesus is and how privileged we are that he calls us friend. But Peter was learning all the time and, in that scene by the lakeside, he would answer his friend’s question, ‘Peter, do you love me?’ with that wonderful prayer, ‘Lord, you know everything; you know I love you’ (John 21:17).

  Can this be our prayer, our word from the heart to our Lord and friend? We have spoken of the discouragement we feel in our lack of progress in the spiritual life. But when we look at it now in terms of personal friendship with Jesus, hopefully we too can make our own, Peter’s prayer: ‘Lord, you know everything, you know all my lukewarmness, my fears, my failure to understand your way, how I have so often let you down out of fear and selfishness, how I try to avoid sacrifice at all cost. Yet Lord, deep, deep down you know that I love you.’ Jesus our friend understands, It was he who used the image of the seed to tell us that growth takes time. There is no instant growth, no instant holiness. The seed needs time to grow. Friendship takes time. Love needs time. This is a deep truth which in our world has become obscure. Jack Dominian, who writes with such understanding of love and marriage today, says, ‘Love cannot be found in the transient, superficial, shallow.’ Jesus notes that the seed that falls in shallow soil springs up quickly, but dies equally quickly. Dominian says that the evil of our day is not so much the trivialisation of sex but the trivialisation of persons and personal relationships. People want quick, easy encounters with equally quick disengagement when troubles come. But true love should endure all and is tested by time. The growth of our personal friendship with the Lord may be slow because of our weakness, but surely it must be the source of our deepest joy in life. Again we remember Peter’s words to the first Christians. ‘You did not see him, yet you love him; and still without seeing him, you are already filled with a joy so glorious that it cannot be described’ (1 Peter 1:8-9). This friendship will continue to grow until we die and beyond, as we explore the infinite mystery of love. Let us see our faith life as a love story and not a chasing after perfection in the Christian life. We are baptised into Christ, not into Christianity. ‘Before the world was formed, we were chosen in Jesus Christ to live through love in his presence’ (Ephesians 1:4). Let us be in love, not with the spiritual life, but with the Lord.

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