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24

   When we describe life as a great circle full of beauty and wonder, we are not closing our eyes to evil and suffering, we are not being naïve and pretending there will no more sorrow or pain. We recall St. Paul’s words, ‘Be happy at all times: and for all things give thanks to God’ (1Thessalonians 5:17). But Paul, who wrote these words, was a man familiar with a great variety of suffering and he reminds us that every Christian will share in some way in the suffering of our Saviour. Yet the same Paul invites us always to be thankful, to have that constant attitude of thanksgiving which sees all as gift. We saw how Jesus lived in that joyful, grateful spirit. We looked at stories he told of people who lacked this spirit, who complained about the way they were treated, the early workers in the vineyard, the elder boy in the story of the Prodigal Son. He told these stories to involve us and open our eyes to God’s infinite generosity which gives all as gift and not as payment for work done by us.

  But this does not mean that we blind ourselves to life’s pain. Within that circle of life, besides the wonder and beauty, there is much suffering and sorrow. And we are vulnerable and fragile. Some of life’s blows can be hard and our weak flesh will cry out in complaint. Now this ‘complaint’ is quite different from the grumbling complaint of those who felt they were badly treated, like the early workers or the elder brother. I believe this second kind of complaint, this cry from our wounded and confused human nature, is perfectly compatible with strong faith and trust. Christian faith is not the same as stoicism. I wish to say that people of great faith have often been people of complaint in this other sense, and God can cope with that.

   Listen to some complaints from God’s friends. ‘Is Yahweh with us, or not?’ (Exodus 17:7). This was the complaint of God’s chosen and loved ones as they wandered thirsty in the desert after being delivered from the slavery of Egypt. Has not this cry often been repeated in pain by God’s people through the years? ‘Yahweh has abandoned me, the Lord has forgotten me’ (Isaiah 49:14). Thus Isaiah records the complaint of these same people in their misfortune of later years. The Psalmist complains eloquently to Yahweh, ‘Lay your scourge aside, I am worn out with the blows you deal me’ (Psalm 39:10). What terrible cries come from the heart of that just man Job when God seems oblivious to his suffering. ‘May the day perish when I was born, and the night that told of a boy conceived’ (Job 3:3). As sorrows pile up on this God-fearing and truly faithful man and God seems not to notice, he prays ‘I cry to you, and you give me no answer; I stand before you, but you take no notice’ (Job 30:20). We recognise these cries of this good man who, despite all his suffering, did not abandon trust in God. His cries have found an echo in our hearts in our own dark days. But surely the greatest cry that ever came from a faithful and trusting believer, the cry that must have pierced the heart of God, came from the Beloved Son in whom the Father was so well pleased, ‘My God, my God, why have you deserted me?’ (Matthew 27:47). And today we ourselves, who believe and know we are his beloved children, often cry ‘Why me, Lord? Where are you, Lord? Do you care?’ God hears our cry and understands our human heart. He does not blame us. Indeed, our cry calls him so close that he suffers with us.

  To continue to believe that God is at the centre when suffering comes, is the keenest test of trust. To continue to say all is well and all will be well, when the centre does not seem to hold, when our world is falling apart, this is the highest trust. Here we confess humbly that we often fail. But there was one of our family who did not fail. He is Jesus, the first-born in the family. He is our hope and our power. If we cry out, ‘Why me?’, then God has only one answer, one word to say, the Word made flesh In Jesus we have the ultimate answer to our cry of complaints, the perfect, lived example of trust in the Father. The same Jesus who gave that great cry, ‘My God, my God, why have you deserted me?’ and can say almost immediately, ‘Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.’ Perhaps in those moments, the great searing pain in his nailed hands reminds him of Yahweh’s answer to his people’s complaint long ago:

'For Zion was saying, ‘Yahweh has abandoned me,
the Lord has forgotten me’.
Does a woman forget her baby at the breast.
or fail to cherish the son of her womb?
Yet even if these forget,
I will never forget you.
See, I have branded you on the palms
of my hands.'
Isaiah 49:14-16

  Jesus can still believe he is the beloved Son and that his Father is there to catch him when he lets go the branch of the tree of the cross. Jesus is saying, ‘Despite all appearance and apparent abandonment, my Father is still at the centre, is still in charge of my life. He will bring life out of death because I am his beloved Son.’ Trust is a key that opens heaven’s floodgates and releases God’s power and love into our human person, making us capable of true greatness. Jesus showed us this way, and the story of his followers ever since shows that it is possible for us to follow whether Jesus leads.

    Ideologies come and go, empires rise and fall, but Jesus remains the same yesterday, today, forever, offering himself to each person, to every age and culture. Should we not go to him when trust becomes difficult? Has he not got a very special care for us who bear his name? We have said that the life of each of us is a gift to us from God. But there is another beautiful truth to be recalled. Each of us is a gift from God the Father to Jesus. Remember Paul’s great insight: ‘Before the world was made, he chose us in Christ’ (Ephesians 1:4). Jesus himself is very aware of this special relationship between himself and his followers. These friends were not casually met. Jesus realises that they are a gift to him from the Father. They belong to the Father who entrusts them to Jesus. He says to the Father, ‘They were yours and you gave them to me’ (John 17:6), and he prays, ‘I want those you have given me to be with me where I am’ (v.24). Surely there is a special bond between us and Jesus. He is the vine, we are the branches and the Father is the vinedresser. Jesus wants to bring us safely back to the Father and joy he has prepared for us. The third Eucharistic prayer says it beautifully: ‘May Jesus make us an everlasting gift to you, Father.’

  This special bond of friendship between the Lord and ourselves grows and deepens over the years. It should give greater meaning to our lives as the years go on. As we get older, we begin to realise that we will not achieve the great things we dreamed of in youth. We find that we can do less and less. It would be sad if life had less meaning for us because we can do or achieve less. The opposite should be happening. We should begin, even if only dimly, to realise the true greatness to which we are being called and to sense the true fulfilment for which we were created. All our ideas of achievement, all our small dreams start to pale into nothingness as we begin to sense the dream God has for us, the fulfilment he has prepared: ‘the things that no eye has seen and no ear has heard, things beyond the mind of man, all that God has prepared for those who love him’ (1 Corinthians 2:9). Elsewhere Paul says, ‘Though this outer man of ours may be falling into decay, the inner man is renewed day by day’ (2 Corinthians 4:16).

  The inner person grows as we are drawn more into the fullness of God. Our origin is a person. Our destiny is a person, not some Disneyland in the sky. We are to find the fulfilment of our deepest yearnings in the loving embrace of God. St. Augustine expresses it so well. After years of fruitless searching for meaning and happiness in every possible avenue of experience, he at last finds the Lord and cries out, ‘O Beauty ever ancient, ever new, late have I known thee, late have I loved thee. You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our hearts are restless till they rest in you.’ Finding God, we will find all else in him If we don’t find him, then nothing else can satisfy. Julian of Norwich makes this prayer:

'God, of your goodness, give me yourself,
for you are sufficient for me.
I cannot properly ask anything less to be worthy of you.
If I were to ask less, I should always be in want.
In you alone do I have all.'

God is at the centre drawing us to himself. Love is at the centre inviting us to trust. The heart of faith is the heart. Despite failure, suffering, discouragement, our deepest heart invites us to keep trust and to persevere on our pilgrimage home.

  Long ago in India, a very old man was on pilgrimage. The holy place of pilgrimage was situated high up in the mountains. It was winter and the weather was harsh. On his way up the mountain, the old pilgrim stopped at a wayside inn to rest. The innkeeper looked at the old man in wonder. The pilgrim was indeed very old and frail. The innkeeper spoke to him with concern and respect. ‘Old man, do you think you should continue your journey? The holy place is far, the mountain is steep and the weather is very harsh. You are old and frail, do you think you will make it to the shrine?’ The old pilgrim smiled and answered, ‘Well, it’s like this. You see, my heart is already at the shrine. So I think it will be easy for the rest of me to follow.’

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